In the Midst of Everything

NOT feeling it.
So sick. So tired. So wasted. So lazy.
People are just people. Life is just life.
And I, am just I.
Where do I go? What do I do?
I don't even know. For some reason I just sit here and find myself repeating the same exact two words, "Now what?"
People don't care! I don't even care. Why the hell do I even pretend I care?
Clearly, I'm not a good person. Not nice, not cool, not pretty, not capable of being something great. Obviously other people have something more to life for. I'm bored and depressed and just not thriving for anything. I need help and I know it.
I made my statement.
Now what?

It's Been A While

Physically sick, emotionally screwed, and mentally not in great shape. What more could you ask for in a crappy day? Nothing. Exactly.
Why do people do stupid things. Snitch on your friends and their secret. It's just plain wrong. He just killed a relationship that was supposed last all throughout high school. We were like known as "us". See this is where people should get therapy and life coaching on how to NOT be and ass to your friends.
Whatever. All of this just makes me want my departure date to come sooner. I'll just indulge in the upcoming change.

Live it,
Erika

Breathe Me- Sia

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me...

Weak Losers

Over the years I have come to notice that those who portray intelligence and perfection are nothing but unexpirienced and weak. Notice how people who have "perfect" lives and "perfect" grades do not mix well with the people who have been through serious & dramatic life-changing events. Those people, who have had "sucky" lives, and may not have a 4.0 GPA, know what LIFE really is about. They struggle on a day-to-day basis of emotional and social conflicts between their families, friends, and co-workers because they have been through a lot. "Perfect" people generally never have expirenced something life-changing. Those unexpirenced people cry because their grades were not as high as they expected and have an emotional break down when someone says something bad about them. Why would you cry? It's only a grade and it's a small word-of-mouth that gets around because of someone jealous of you. You get over it. Now, if a family member or friend dies, or a divorce occurs between your two parents, YOU DON'T GET OVER IT. Those memories will NEVER leave you. The grade will, the rumors will cease! You can fix your grade and you can stop what people say about you! You can't fix what life has taken away from you! Those people may cry at any random moment and you start thinking "what the heck?!" Then the "perfect" people think that they are weak and losers. That is what those people have to live with. Day by day, they move on with their lives, trying to think they are normal and everything is going to be okay. Strong and hopeful that they can be happy and one day have a better life with no one talking about them. Therefore is it really necessary to cry and complain and say "my life sucks" because you didn't recieve that grade that you wanted or some stupid by-standard said something unecessary about you? Don't degrade those people who have been through the hell of life. Don't think that life sucks if nothing has gone wrong. Think about it, who really are the weak losers?

Viva La Vida- Coldplay

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sweep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world
(Ohhh)

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in.
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
(Ohhhhh Ohhh Ohhh)

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
Oooooh Oooooh Oooooh


I think that these are the most meaningful lyrics ever.....

PDA

Personal Display of Affection:
PDA is acceptable to a certain extent. Holding hands and hugging is not a bad thing. Yeah it's cute. But when someone randomly stops in the hallway going to class, starts making out for like 5 minutes straight right in front of everyone, and is literally shoving their tongue down the each other's throat, that is just wrong. THEY MADE BEDROOMS FOR THESE THINGS, KIDS! OH, and the myspace/facebook pictures; DUDE. SERIOUSLY. It looks so dumb! No it's not cool to just freaking stand there, exposing your mouth's abilities, and showing off to every by-standard student in the school and defaulting the picture with you and your boyfriend/girlfriend kissing! Besides all people think when they see you is, "Yep, they're both getting mono soon...."
Don't do it, please. For your reputation and everyone's mind that are going to be scarred with mental images, DON'T DO IT.

Disease

I've been plagued and troubled. And I still don't know what to do.